125 Jon Carden A Comedy Advice Amigos Mash up
They eat sometimes. you'll work with headliner. Who's like really awesome right. And then you work with some headliners. That are just kinda like. I don't really give a shit about watching you like. I just want to sit here and do whatever And then go up and do my time and then not shake your hand when i walk out. You know so But they were just like they're like wine and all these people lined up to take their photos and they took time with all of them. And you know. They were reposting all their instagram. Snowflake like from the outline. I mean it was just good. It was nice to see like real. Genuine comics an performers. I think anymore that if you were looking for a high brow fancy smart regal podcast with post that love to talk about horseriding badminton and trips to the venue. You're in the wrong place. This is amigos. pc if you're looking for drinking random nonsense stunts shenanigans and balls out craziness. You hit the jackpot. Is he goes. Pc and this is scott and mark migos podcast. Welcome everybody back. Today's guest is a failed skydiver motivational speaker stair climber husband father and phoenix comedian steve short bus krause for calling disney customer service. Seen a the vaccine guys our how you doing. Thanks for coming on As we're kind of talking off line. I met you at the trailer. Trash tammy Shows just the sweat like past week week and a half so and you were the only surprisingly hugh joke opening up which was a hit. I think it was more a shock till like half the crowd and then the crowd that maybe like actually knew you or or you know your stand-up we're laughing. Because i was dying you came up my wife sitting next to me. She's like is that him is hilarious. No it's fine. It's fun to do it for the people who weren't there. I actually went up with a mask on. And i just started punching myself in the face like trying to get my mask off and then made it into the bagel long thing and like it was like the most late late when i'm normally trying to tie my shoes kind of thing you know it was. It was tough struggle. And so once i got it off then i yelled at lake. Don't get the vaccine and look for half me. And i just let it sit. You know. I just let the people like you said like half of them are like holy shiite leagues. Do gonna talk like this all night. Like how long's he no. And you see okay. I think he likes leading You know i do it. I do it mainly one because it's funny You know some people. Ask me like well at the end you say. I'm sorry i'm not retarded and do people get mad when you say that. And i gotta remind people you think i'm disabled. I can say that shit right like you. All walkers can okay and and there was one time. I did that job and at the end of this lady came up to me. She tapped me on the shoulder and she she was like. Hey i wanna introduce us some friends of mine. And i'll make sure no problem if she moved away and there was like twelve mentally disabled people there and i thought shit this is how i'm gonna die right 'cause like i was literally up their acting retarded. I said retarded right. And i was kind of an awe that there was twelve of them and only one person watching them. Because you know you never know those guys are going to snap in league. But i mean they loved it. They loved it. I was like they were like they felt like i included. You know and i was like signing their fries grocery receipts and all that stuff.
00:05:06 - 00:10:00
I mean grave one of my favorite memories but the other reason do it is because when i on stage and i am in a wheelchair and i i'm already at a disadvantage at the time that somebody sees me right. Any comedy goes on stage. The second they walk behind the curtain or out the door. They're already been charged. You know people who's this asshole was he gonna tell me that's funny that hurdle ready and but being disabled it takes it to another level because you know people's minds it's like like you said. Is this guy got talk like this. Like what the hell's wrong with this guy. Like is he just gonna tell like shitty handicap jokes. Strap in of. But i do because i am trying to that right away right so then that kind of breaks the ice. You know in a weird twisted fucking way. It breaks the ice but it also lets people know. Hey i'm cool with being able. I don't feel sorry for myself. You know so you should either so to options like you sit there and enjoy the ride or user god precious given legs walk the fuck out usually stay in a joy to ride. So but yeah. That's why i really do. And plus looking at people's faces is really. It's hull larry. If i think next time i do it. I'm gonna somehow record what i see there. Because there's a lot of you know. And then there's a lotta guys tap. Their funds like holy. Shit is if midget can't wait to tell bob at work tomorrow. Yeah kind of stuff. So but it's fun. I you made mention that you know when people come out and they're like well. What do we expect being in the audience Seeing you do that up at a stand up live where we were. You could feel bad like sitting next to me around. Like i know you so when i didn't even know you were going to be opening so having that treat come out. I was excited. Yeah everyone around like his happening right. And what's funny is. Because when i'm outside before shows there will be people i've seen me before and they'll start too late. Try and talk to me. But then they remember that opening joke and so they won't tell their friends and so they'll just sit there and they'll just watch friends during the whole opening part and normally would do. I would actually be a couple of jokes lake that and and then hit him with it. But with the vaccine thing i was just like this is gold right just hit them with one hard and then y- and and it was it was it was fine. You could feel it. And i was the first time i did it because i'd never worked with danny before chelsea land i i had never met her So you know. I've seen a couple of the videos and things like that That she had done before. And when i noticed a lot of women coming to the show like that older amid as late kind of that that range out sometimes they don't like it. There's there's always wind always one this guy. Yeah yeah fine. I'm glad everybody gets like a kick. Have you ever had a situation where someone walked out or super offended or like crazy and mike was like. You're too much kind of yeah. They're usually like special. Ed teachers like that. Come to show and you know so the you know you get you get one or the other. One of them is like the one. The people i love talking to after shows are the parents of people at disabled kits right. You know parents at half disabled kids because a lot of them are you know. New parents have never had a disability in their family. You're just dealing with it and to the one common i always get is that you know. It's great to see that even though you're disabled you still get up there and you still have fun and you still do what you do And then you get the special.
00:10:00 - 00:15:01
Ed teachers that right. I have not tested to my class. You're told a joke about you. Know like what's his name. Gary know him so that one you know to them. I don't talk to. Yeah but i have had some people get upset and it's rightfully so but i mean it's it's they can feel however they want but i'm not going to change i am. I'm still going to do the shit. And i did cancel you canceled but whatever like i just wanna stay true to who i am. You're a wheeling fast passed so they changed that they changed that some years. Some guy in florida was renting himself out to families and was just going to disneyland. They would pay him like five hundred bucks today and he would go and cut them online and then just like yesterday your family with white. And now they're indian or whatever and is lake yes so they ended up getting busted so they ended up changing the whole fast. Pass thing for you know. Disabled people and We actually went to disneyland right before cove and happened. because my ramp daughter. I have a ramp kids. We all say the words step in my house. Kinda let that sink in now and takes a minute for people But no she was doing a dance. Her dance group Got chosen dancer. So we went out and it was literally like colby just died. And you know and then Cova was coming around and you only saw like one or two people wearing a mask you know at disney and news just like you would see all the lines and i remember because i can't ride all the rides you know and I remember sitting there waiting for my family. They were all in like pires care. Being in the line was like half a mile. And hey. I didn't have my phone because i would take a picture of. And then like somebody in this lines got coded not you know. Just people walking around shoulder shoulder and then a week later that changed and Ship just waited. We re just say five grand for before we were talking earlier saying that the most happiest place. I mean when you have kids like when you take kids with you. It's just such an expensive fun time. Yeah yeah i mean it really is and then yeah i mean. There's so many people. Because i used to live in california and i remember going as a kid and i never remember having like stand in line for an hour and a half to get on dumbo right. Now it's just ridiculous and then you people just running around. They get the stupid fast passes and run into people and stuff. We wrote a mountain. Two minutes bro. You're universal studios. Still here he ain't got fucking make but yeah cutting lines coal spun. You all can't get away with so before you talked about We were talking about Opening up with tammy and we've been avid. kpd listeners. Since i can remember in that's where we first heard of you recently coming on key. Pd telling your jokes know. Interacting with the show and things like that And even then back when we first started. I'm talking to usa decade. Maybe you were still your opening for larger clubs. I think stand up live. Just maybe it opened or or been opened a couple of years. Honestly you know doing like a feature or a headline something along those lines. How does that process work. When when you have a bigger name like tammy come into town and is it just like you have a bat phone or or. I wish i'd be rich. I wanna be living in a trailer park right now. If i had a i had a bad shit.
00:15:03 - 00:20:03
You know. I i when i first started and i been doing about fifteen years when i first started. It was through comedy class. I was studying a district comedy class. And then through that. At that time the only real club was like the baked club was the improv. And before i started doing comedy. I would go and see comics. And that's where the the extra push to like. I literally remember watching jim. Breuer just destroy the room and sitting there. And and i'm like man. I want wanna do that one day. You know. I think the pulse to do it. Why not can't feel them anyways. Let's let's do it in kicked in the nuts right in so That's just a few billion times right But then it was the whole goal listed performance improv. So then i ended up by jusuf chance. I mean i would. I would go and hang out at the club. I would do some comedy contests and dan murder. At the time of the honor he would see me and then went to a phone. Call that you know. I got to open for the very first time in. It like happened to be russell. Peters and you know it was the first who's russell peters i just get It was really cool. You know i mean it was and pure. I mean that the one time the guy gets open for now lake the on one of my closest friends you know. I asked him to be my daughter's godfather. You know like so then then it was kind of hanging out at the club a little more and meeting some of the headliners. The one that really kind of broke up me with pablo I had met Francisco had met him and he was. You know coming in yearly. I mean russell was so bad. It was just like a random once every other year and so i had met pablo and he just said. Hey you wanna do guess spot. I'll wake up and did a guest spot. And then he's like you're going to do every show and so i ended up doing the entire weekend and then became close with him. And then once you once. He's working with russell. And you're working with pablo and you're doing things. Run tiny sir kind of building some light credibility and the club would be like okay. You know Yeah we know he can hold his own the headliners like crowds. Like um so then it just kind of what's started grown from that But Like the tammy weekend i Met coleman. he's one of the book. He's the main booker for the providence and apply than every now and then i'll send him an email saying hey you know if you got anything open and i actually found out the day before that i was gonna open for her and You know it was awesome. I had the same feeling opening for her. And this is no bullshit right. Noble shit. I had the same feeling opening for her that i did for russell when i first started i mean because her crowds were they were like crazy and raucous but they're respectful right. There's like a huge difference because a lot of them are youtube fans. I mean people were coming in from kansas like an watching every show the entire weekend you know and there were people that were coming night after night but you know they were. They were polite. I mean people standing on line. You don't like way down to the to the end and no one was complaining. And i mean it was just. It was a different type of crowd you know and they were great and I mean i got a lot of instagram followers now. Then i'm like shit instagram. Masking my ramp boy. How do i do a story. Like do i post this here. I don't know you know. Yeah you got it now girl. I got to ramp. Boys finally got it. he ramped up a guy. There's hope there's hope but they were. They were awesome. They were unbelievable. I never had that many all the years of doing comedy after because every now and then you'd meet people after the shows like they might buy some merchandise. Y'all follow you or at they never go.
00:20:03 - 00:25:04
You know and it's cold. It's whatever you're drunk on our you know and that's why not famous people I'm kidding Please please by. But yeah i mean you have to of get out of here. No what. I'm going through right now. I don't know if you guys need disneyland. Put the happiest place on earth as my background to hide the not so happiest place behind it. Okay But you know they're a great crowd and like you know Tina libya were unbelievable. The i've never done a show which is like three right. And i thought they've been doing comedy for ever. I mean they were just like real natural. They're real funny. You know and and then like the the second night. I was to me and i was just like. She's like yes. I how long have you been doing this shiels three. I three years now three weekends. What i like. I've been doing this the years right. And i'm the most seasoned person in here i mean but the one thing i loved about them or who they are as people. And that's what i was referring to earlier before we get sidetrack with the horrors behind me. The the Unbelievably nice people. they eat. Sometimes you'll work at the headliner. Who's like really awesome right. And then you'll work with some headliners that are just kinda like i don't really give a shit about watching you like. I just want to sit here and do whatever and then go up and do my time and then not shake your hand when i walk out. You know so But they were just like stood there in late wine all these people lined up to take their photos and they took time with all of them you know. They were reposting all their instagram snowflake from the outline. I mean it was good. It was nice to see like real genuine comics and performers. I think anymore definitely agree. We we did the mean all out with The night that we went and yes she was taking pictures. Not what. I was expecting which is amazing And i don't really follower Or like no a lot of the content of what the wife tells me. Yeah as soon as i saw her on stage. She's doing her trailer chassis. Tammy stuff you could tell nine when before. And after right and they estimated that they were like why. Aren't you out there. Then meet and greets. This is why people you don't wanna shake that shit even had the et finger half handshake right choice. I hate me. Like i love the people but it's just gets awkward. It's awkward people come up and try and do this like going to like pound my fist. you know. And then they'll see my hands and then they'll halfway stop and then i'm like swinging atom. You know this bump and then you'll get the people that'll go in for the handshake and then c. e. t. fingers and shit this guy. So yeah yeah. They were great great. I'm like yeah me too great. I don't mind. I don't mind it. It's a lot different though. I think for me the gig. I think it's a little different for me now. because i'm sober So a lot of a lot of times. I would have the show is. I was drinking like a fish to party with everybody. And then after the show you know you just have to draw assholes in the lobby talking about what bar we're going to. You know what i mean and so now it's just it's an i like that of a fine nounce over fucking responsible and i got a job a house honey now. It's just kind of weird because you'll get those drunk. People have come to me after the shows and just want like you know.
00:25:04 - 00:30:03
They don't really offer me drink anymore. They used to. But i never go when i was so when a surrogate sober. I just me five bucks. My client and they'd be like no. I don't have any cash. There's an atm right. There man offered to buy me twelve dollars shot. Gimme five so. I got three grandkids and i got one daughter right and and i'm working from home k. Thanking cool work from home hell. Yeah but this is the beginning. Twenty twenty right might march madness common around great And then they shut down schools. Like shit i gotta wear pants in the house during the day And i i'm not. I'm not a teacher right. I'm a comedian. I can't teach like i was giving my kid. Bonus points on his history tests. Because we've questioned was. Who is abraham lincoln and he wrote a vampire slayer just like it's a movie about it. There's movie it's gotta be real you know and then how did you discipline your kids. How'd you guys do. Yeah yeah like to. I lined up outside my bedroom and went inside and put on a shirt and tie one day and then i acted like the principal told him to come in one by one just what he did for the second time he hit your sister. Yeah i and i was wearing my headset outside. One time and one of the neighborhood kids was riding by and he was like. Hey what game are you plan. It's called responsibility bro. It sucks link. Don't grow up keep failing online english. Like i know if you'd really want to call it the gaming. It's not the gaming that we were doing weird kids like they play. Fortnite for a little in the tent is like i don't know if a golf or night Late game online. I heard the mouse disgusting. But larry is things. Come out of my middle ramp. Boys mouth gaming. He's like thirteen. And i don't like i always know when he's banned from xbox because he just sleeps right. Yeah i know he's in trouble. I've heard some stuff come out of there just like you know. Who are you sweetest. Quietest kid you know but then when you put a headset autumn's workers you like yeah. Yeah yes mom should have killed you like show that like whoa tiger. Easy and kids from school going to get a call from their parents threatening to murder pill mom. What's going on in there. Yeah yeah yeah. I'm not dealing with asha brawl. So now i'm trying to switch to instill you mentioned with. Are you trying to actually stream in play video games with your son or no. He won't play with me. They won't play with me now now. How many times. I've asked him lake. I i've tried to bond right frank Real bad they need money You know and So i always ask like hey you wanna play the oldest oldest ramp boy you suck you know like your hands. Don't work easy now but yeah. They won't play them. I even asked like i even said of like. Hey look i can't play the game you're playing but can i put the headset on and talk to people why you play like that's all i wanna do.
00:30:04 - 00:35:06
That's all i wanna do they. Yeah yeah and they won't let me do. They won't let me do yeah. Yeah so my daughter's four and we play a lot of minecraft. I tried to minecraft With my son. And i ended up phil for the exception of building like a rectangle box that we could get in. I don't know. I don't get the point of the game and it's not too difficult but it is for me to understand it it. It just doesn't. It's not appealing. I guess it's not what what i was playing when i was a kid essentially. Yeah now i mean with my hands. I wasn't playing legos. Lincoln logs blocks none of that shit right. So it's like now you want me to put a bunch of boxes together and put a flower pot on them So what. I'm trying to do and it this on my facebook is on trying to build the largest house in the shape of a handicaps and bowl in migra. Nah i posted a picture on my facebook at sharpest comedy of the foot. I got the foot down right. Yeah so now. I'm just like building the lake's going up right there like the stairs. Yeah i i need a life. Yeah they should bullshit like whatever handicap handicap right like if that was like a tesla wheelchair. That'd be like all right. That's all right. Yeah yeah but whatever a wheels wheel. In my opinion. I guess you one place to another but So i am scared to like play online right because they hear my. I hear my rambo yelling all the time. And that's how when a here that. That's what i think's going to happen me so like i. I have On my computer. I play like this f. One twenty twenty like formula one racing right gain. Okay so would do the career mode and stuff like that all that good stuff But i would never play online. Because i was scared i yelled added. And that's that's shitty feeling bra. That's like getting heckled by your kid. You know well you got when you got a twelve year old telling you ship it makes you wanna go to european shitty situation man. I'm not trying to put myself in that. So i went on twitch right and i created as pate and creating a name for your twitches like harder than naming your first four kit okay like it really is so so like me being the down answer i am. I came up with i. Yeah a coffee. Sucks right to something so stupid. And so i was wanting to see what other lake call. Twitter's know what they're called like coped twit castors. I don't i don't know. I don't even know the call so i started like following one right and i clicked on it. And he's playing live and he was like double wave. Battery coffee sucks. Thanks for follow. Like i gotta think of new fucking nate. That's gamers are going to think. I'm talking about batteries. Copy exactly i think they call themselves Tweezers do is that what it. Yeah right because they're just tweaking staying up all night. Yes he gets he. They all live in an age. That's funny fucking age. Aj i live. Close that's why not in aj. I'm making. It's actually like china. Build it up right. Yeah 'cause off. People move from california is a desert flames there strip club notion. He's looking around. You don't know it must be. Yeah that's funny. You mentioned that place though so long. It's been like fifteen years than there. You went there. I did a win and let's just say it was a wednesday which is probably a saturday.
00:35:06 - 00:40:04
Hold for the that place to but it was greatest. Fa hooters just glitter and failure is what desert flame as a true. There is no eight group. Work constitute constitutes eight crew of teeth. A fico score whatever may just right three hundred scores. Sat scores on to med school. They have to be able to know their their real name. Not stage name right right. That could be right. Candy told me with an i. Not a y. Yeah yeah. I remember one time. Mcc and i was going from the class of girl was walking by and hot and Some guy was walking by and say hey sapphire. She's like looking like this. And i'm like smell. I slow down my wheelchair. Because i want to know like sapphire south of sapphire and so then. He's like yes sapphire right from league girls and and her boyfriend or some dude as her i. I don't think it was her boyfriend with some guy so fucking embarrassed and she tried to play off right and then she kept walking and the guy was like. Fuck you on buying you drink. Next time i was just like he. s tried. yeah at first. she's doing. She's putting herself through college. She's literally doing what. God bless her. Her lake had vegas one time. And i i just got there with my buddy and we're checking in and i was playing this like wheel of fortune type game right and like like the thing took off right in this role locked up to me. She's like oh my god you just want a bunch of money and i was like your fucking right one money. I just wanted thirty five dollars. That's like half a buffet right and You wanna have some fun house lake. I'm already have fun right about the see david copperfield and she has nine means naked. Fun right and then. I was like you know then i had thought you know. 'cause girls probably in about maybe like two fifty right and lake. Wheelchairs got like a weight limit on it. And i'm not making fun of her. There's literally if you get under my wheelchair. The tag has fucking weight landed on it. Okay and then. I was like you know. They charged by the hour. Only got thirty five dollars. Take me like forty five minutes to get my pants off. You know And so i was just like now. You know what better idea. I got an extra tickets. They copperfield go. Check them out. We'll see if he can make about fifty pounds disappear off your ass mental talk and it was horrible horrible thing to say and but i think that she probably realized that her life was so far down in the dumps and that she was probably a horrible horrible hooker that she had asked a guy in a wheelchair you know as her last resort like nobody else right like all right did bucket list right like let's go back guy and then it also. I'm hoping that you know. She went to like an aa meetings. She got clean jam. She's probably in med school now. So maybe i saved their lives matter at mcc. No no dinner vegas. He's he turned alive. I to mcc. Yeah wow yeah maybe maybe you turn around and also. That's what i'm here doing. Yeah everyone listening. I'm here here to motivate you stick.
00:40:04 - 00:45:05
Tiered dream don't give in. Don't give out settle so there are a few questions that we've storming up on things we want to ask on our show. And if you don't mind being a guinea pig for some of this i yes. They are asking some of these questions. Rhino rate number. Yes or no some are depending on how you want to get by. Elect and things like that The first i think we kind of already covered this But what. What is your favorite adult site. He's got the ramp people you know. I'm gonna pass gonna have to say i'm just thinking favorite site shit about them in my life. There's no hope you know. Honestly i i. And this is god's honest truth and there's nobody else around right now like i don't watch a lotta part. I mean i don't like. I remember back in the day when the kid and you know they had like the borderie lines and you tried to like boob or something you know you got excited and shit like that And then i actually knew some friends were on that like couch casting one backer cows casting so that was really fucking shit girls or the is no girl. Yeah the originals. You know some of the original ones right. yeah so That was kinda fucking awkward. Yeah no and how they have a friend just you know. Hey were saturday. Dick on a camera. Like twelve hundred bucks never going to go anywhere. No one will ever see. It is just wait till i pass this around the bar. Gay people will. Yeah i i really don't honestly on i really don't Every now and then like you know. The fucking game of thrones on you know yeah shit there you go. Hbo whatever whatever. Hbo and skin amax have on this next question We have a running it on the show. We've been around a couple of years and before we started really implementing guests on the show. We started to making fun of some conspiracies one conspiracy out. There is a is australia real A couple of episodes. We did have a couple of people from australia on similar this video conferencing and we literally ask them that question. If australia israel yes and and basic their thoughts yeah. So they're surprise you know they're they're what answers. I guess what was a little off key but if the flatter conspiracy is true. Do you think that australia is a real place. You've kind of got to think it through right. You gotta flying a plane for eighteen hours at some point. You're gonna fall asleep. Do you really go to australia. That was good. That was a good witness at that. Uh else do you go shit. I dunno argentina. I mean okay. Because like you could fake you. Fake the mon right you could. You could fake que. Get that right. But how are you gonna fake. It's got to be real real conned. This is all fake. It's gotta be to a little bit. Because maybe i'm just thinking how could you logistically get millions of people and buildings in one place and then just be like. Hey we're fucker ten p. Yeah yeah pretend time to be australian. Here's you know. When short bus comes to town you know like so then. Okay so then then you gotta ask yourself who them in world war or soldiers over there.
00:45:05 - 00:50:02
I know that that is a brady. We haven't heard an answer that way re to us that way you like. No it's fake or it's not from from a non person who says they live there. It's always been my dream to go to australia. May but yeah. I wanna go to in bateman cam front payments from australia sore. Now you just mentioned The moon and faking landing on the moon to this is going to be a weird segue. I guess but If you had the opportunity which if you must has his way it seems like it's going to be sooner than later you. It was just you. You got one ticket. Would you take a one way trip to mars. Not even after finish like why would be like hell. Yeah like. i'm out of here bro. Like because you got to think about this way to say now not only. Am i the first disabled person space. The first crippled on mars. So if i get to mars. I right and the martians are actually. They're they're going to think that all humans are crippled and then i could be like how half lucky walkers we won and then i talked the martians and the taken over you asshole. Nice is still there. You would want to be in the first flight there. Because i'm wondering if there's not convenient rams it's going to be a shitty terrain for you. I'm to be stuck. I'm gonna die like the one you got to have rover. Yeah yeah right. Exactly you know or one of like like hella pack or something. Yeah yeah yes. Yeah just just going That make sense yes to. I'm so down like even tweeted. Ilan months earlier before this that he put that neuralink thing in the monkey right and it was playing along with its brain that yet they had. He's got a company called neuralink right and they've put a chip in a pig's brain and it was predicting it's movements before move and then he just put a chip in a monkey's brain that they're playing pong right with his brain and he's moving the screen and then he like Tweeted something about neuralink will be putting people with paralysis. And they'll be able to text faster than somebody using their hand with their mind. And i tweeted back. I call bullshit. Let me try me. Please send. Maybe i put that shit in like my head. Make my legs work so far. The flame does pass the flame. Bro yeah right now. I mean we did talk about you know the australia. Being one of our conspiracies you have a favorite conspiracy. You like to ponder on or talk about or anything like that he you know. I think the one in. I mean i don't know if much conspiracy anymore because starting to come out bright because i mean i'm just saying it's starting to come out like the whole lake. You know extraterrestrials alien you know. It's like now lake now. You know guys. I grew up like super religious right like in a bible church like church every sunday. You know christian schools probably wind so far up right now But you know you're taught like create everything right and you know have arson everything like that. And i'm not saying he did it. But there's some things where you just kind of like. Oh could they have done this right like if it wasn't for extraterrestrial. I mean it. Just like how i the. There's gotta be some kind of intervention whether that he divine or not. There were some type of intervention. That is not manmade. Yeah yeah i mean it's like you look at some of the And that's probably another reason.
00:50:02 - 00:55:11
Why so messed up from the pandemic watch a lot of ancient aliens but you know you watch it and then i started watching other shit. I'm glad ain't go down like the giant conspiracy rabbit hole. There's a couple of things whereas just kind of like i. I kind of like the troll. People a little bit with them. You know the ski. Like the bob alinsky thing that came out. But he has proof you. He's got these tests messages. Yeah just kind of like just massimo people but yeah that whole q. Non so so. Take off of that question. Do you think it's weird though. It's now that the government's now trying to say that your photos are they're coming out and saying like oh yeah we've seen things like putting reports it's almost making a more like almost legit. They're setting it up. Yeah they're setting it up. Can't yeah yeah. They couldn't do. they couldn't do it. I mean they could get away with it back. When before social media and the internet right before social made in internet you might see like a newspaper story or something or have three days yes. I'm crazy drunk. Uncle saudi saw you know a ufo. And your ira uncle buzzes drunk again. But now social media and everything. But you know you on my skype. I was listening to when he was talking about it. He was kinda like kinda crazy. How lake with the cameras that we have and cell phones like all. The pictures of your photos are still shed the radar. So that's that's kinda that's kind of weird so like you think about like that but then you know. Now it's got internet. He got social media. You got the shows that you know. People are hooked on to combat that argument about the cell phones. How come when. I see we have a super moon or a blue moon or red moon or whatever moon is out there it's gigantic in my peripheral. But when i go to take my own it is still shit. Oh did they really make phone cameras. Better marks marksman it apple. Somebody forgot his password. Yes yeah. I have no dude. You're asking the wrong guy. This christ feet. High everything in my peripheral. Yeah out now. How could you imagine if i was though. I ask you to imagine that survey. Yeah like take my cherie after the call was like honey there's no button for a of understand what the fuck was saying. Like what do i do give us. I send them back to the indian guy. Yeah back to the city saying no but god bless. God bless handicapped. People they get out there and do jobs. So i'm not but i mean i. I think if. I did it that way i would. I would try and make it through a whole call. I don't think i could. I would probably like that. That actually brings me to my next question good. We're off the whole peripheral. What's right if you weren't doing comedy right now Eat or your. Your career was comedy. You what do you think would be the alternate. What's the alternate universe short bus doing eight that like growing up. Like what am i going to do. You know because. I mean it's not like be a a roofer you know or fucking lift shit at home depot you know So those kind of trying to think of. What would i be good at right. How could i make a living. So i can be independent. You know and then i. I'd always toss out like you know. Wanna be a lawyer you know. Conveyed love arguing. I love like finding lies and people. You know what i mean like. I love finding that shit and I love movies like that so that was one of them like i actually went to as you for a radio and tv broadcasting so i kind of wanted to do radio you know with like mike holmberg and those guys and then or on.
00:55:11 - 01:00:04
Tv you know like sports you know. We're just being a disabled anchor. I like the dumbest thing ever And then one time. I wanted to be a kicking coach. I literally ask coach now. I literally asked an ac football coach. I was like. I probably like eight or nine right. We have one of those comedy. Yeah yeah pretty much. But but i was like i was like eight or nine and i used to go back to where like the players will come out after the games and like at autographs and stuff like that. So i kinda see the coaches every week and talk to them and they talk to me and So i remember one time i. I'm going to ask if i could be. I disabled kicking coach right. Give like i can't do anything else right with my life and work either so i just looked at me. Like yeah share buddy. Follow your dreams you reach for the stars who is sorry about that Get your arms up. I would and then you would like show like how you should kick. Yes then my chair you know. I got a plan. That's going to help every kicker be the best. I'm gonna tyler waits to their legs. Make too stupid. You know. But i think i think like motivational speaking like that. I like speaking For like eight meetings Just like i love being on stage you know. I think a lot of people thought. I was gonna follow like my dad. And my brother's footsteps become like a pastor and have church stuff like that. And it's probably what i should have done. It probably helped a lot. More people. That wasn't my path. And so i think if i can help people like in some way or another. Then that's i'd be happy. I mean i've had a lot of great experiences in high school. i started. I was working for their on a cardinals for five years. Those kind of like cool. This is great. I'm working in sports. So i've experienced that and i. It had the moments yet teaching them how to kick shipman field goals. Yeah right yeah. That's good now utah. You just mentioned You spill your. You have spoken in front of aa meetings. And things like that. And i don't know if this might be a little touch your or not just depending if you don't wanna talk about it feel free to just tell me to shut up. Yeah the last time that we heard you on k. Up it seemed like there was something going on right in in essentially they had gotten you off the air when you showed up that trigger going day and things like that or like. Have you been going for a while or key. Give us more details. Yeah you know for a while. I was i was really embarrassed about it I think it was more of just. A kind of for people are listening. Who don't know me So for a long long time. I was battling severe depression. I was he'll it was almost like i was using my disability. As a crutch to like you know when people would say like oh well you know. He's in a wheelchair. I drank too know like hell. Yeah that means. I can drink and do whatever the hell i want. And you know it's doing comedy and it was like a party every weekend in all and it was traveling a lot and grew and got worse over time. And then you know instead of being the funny disabled comic turning into light drunk disabled comic. And you know so. But at that time i was so far into it that i just didn't care you know it's kind of like i'll do. I'll do it ideal. You know you all worry about yourself you know but then the ones that are picking me up.
01:00:04 - 01:05:00
Put me back my chair and you know so it was very it was very hard. You know the the depression and things just grew. And you know at the time My fiance and i To preface it I my whole life. Being able. All i wanted was to have a family. I like i remember like telling my mom as a kid growing up like we would pray it. I like that. I would meet someone be able to have kids of my own because i just wanted to be a normal person and when i got into college i realize that shit wasn't real. You know like it was a lot of you know waking up you know and realizing that the world doesn't give a shit about you or you're just another disabled person right and it just grew over time the depression and stuff like that and so my fiancee. She was pregnant. And so i was like so excited. I was a happy guy in the world. You know And then unfortunately she miscarried and a we found out was the night before i was supposed to go into the radio to show so we obviously were like very heartbroken You know. I was drinking heavily all night. I you know. i should've stayed home. But you know when you when you think you're functioning alcoholic out a functioning alcoholic right now when you trick yourself to think. Oh yeah. I can get through. You know this interview and they'll just think i'm wacky or whatever and then you find out you're not So yeah i went in. And i i was dropped and It was on the air and they originally asked me to leave and then hamburg brought me back on And then i think just a lot of the emotions and alcohol and everything just collided You know an item out down. I mean i'm humid. You know. I if feelings too and you know it was. It was wrong of me to go in there and waste their time but in the end it ended up being one of the best things that happened to me Because that night. I mean we're talking like that night. A lot of people know that. Night after that radio show and everything like i literally wrote a note to my fiance. You have permission to kill me with this. Nice right like slipped my throat. I don't care. I'm done right And so thank god. She'd been it But yeah i. I went to rehab that night. I went to the hospital that night and got a clean and sober. And you know And you don't just stains right you know and it's but yeah i mean We actually went back on about a year after six months or so Both me and her went on You know we talked about it addressed this you know and i love those guys a daffy you know. I mean in in a sick twisted fuck and like i say my life. I'll never tell him that. So edit the shit out. I'm joke tensions. I've been fight. I had been. I've been fighting for a long time. And that was like the second time abby connery before that and then relapse that's when all that stuff happens you know. So i mean did sometimes your worst moments and being the best moments of your life in the end looking back I wanted change anything I let it change anything so that's that's basically what happened and so i i'm thankful to them and you know i've gotten a lot of support from his listeners People that i think i could tell truly care about me even though i don't know them I felt like you know. I was a partner there and i wasn't on every day. It was like once every other. You know few months.
01:05:00 - 01:10:04
Or whatever. But i still had people now like you said recognize me or you know of people hear me talk like you short us like do my neighbor next door like shit a kid when he found out who was like it was i swear to god you guys. He literally when i moved in he was talking to mean. He asked me what i do and talking about comedy and the off and then i said yes. He's like a ever listened ulmer in. I listened to them every day and blah blah blah. And i was like. Yeah you know i. I loved that guy. Yeah that's me you lose lake. Swear to god he's like are you hiding from your fans out here. Is that where you grew. That's but no it's it's nice. You know it. It really helped lift me and my top times it either repair. Lada burn bridges but that store story though is very inspiring. It should for those listening in. If they're in a spotlight that he had there is light at the end of the tunnel. He gotta make. Yeah i mean it just got like it to do. I mean you have to. You have to be open to do it because a lot of times. I'll get text messages from people good. I'm i wanna quit. How did she do it. And you know. And then. I asked them the normal questions. Like how much do you drink. How often you drink. You know like you know because there's a friend of mine leg. I'm drinking like ten drinks a day every day. Then i'm like. Hey you wanna quit and go to the hospital. I you know in east. Yeah you know and So then the kind of like yeah. Well i'll i'll. I'll think about it and you know i'll ask them. I'll be like are you drunk right now. you know. that's the main thing i asked. Are you drunk right now because we always want to quit drunk like when when we just made an ass out of ourselves at the bar got kicked out you know we all want to quit. Where's the meeting it's my neighbor. China quit He goes to aaa the chips right. He does but he still drinks. Yeah yeah he's trying to build smoker collection. Is i don't know. I don't know In that program helps a lot of people you know. I some people like either. They think it's too religious or or whatever you know for me. It's it's almost like therapy. You know we. I can go in there and i mean shit. It's not like people are gonna know who i am if they know me. It's not like it can go on a different wheelchair. Somebody's like over there. It's a different chair. well you know. It's funny when i was in alcoholics and i always watch like intervention right. Oh but then the instead of being like. I don't want to go down that way. I was more like that really drinking motor oil yet. You know. I think that out of alcoholic. Yeah yeah nc tyzzer now You can right right so Oh yeah i would always think like. I'm not that bad but the are and it's when i realized it was just destroying my family. You know and losing the the thing. I love doing most which is performing you know like i. I gotta get i mean. I was almost dead like fifty. Enzymes away from psoriasis. Like i was literally on that line where they relate you drink again era that right so that doesn't wake you up then at bottle lotto ticket. Why well. I apologize for derailing the fun times so it's good now i wanna talk about. I mean i. I love talking about this because it's not a lot of people get a lot of people get.
01:10:05 - 01:13:01
I think the think of me in different way because the fake. It's almost like they're expecting you to be on all the time right like i'll get asked to do a podcast there. They'll think i'm coming in doing this. Wacky bullshit and then i'll i'll just be like. Hey let's talk about real shift. You know i mean why. Mental health isn't being addressed especially in the comedian. Like world. i now. I mean you were all assholes i mean seriously i mean the reason we do comedy is 'cause we either hate our lives or we're fucked up in the head right. Yeah and you take that away from comics like taking away people's heroin you know you're taking away people's drugs and i've seen a lot of comics crack. You know you saw guys who were owed being and you know committing suicide and things like that and why people aren't really speaking out about it and just pretending like it's not. They're pretty sad to be honest. It's pretty sad. Because last thing i want to see is one of my good friends. Die because you know nobody offered to help or they just expected them to be just home. Funny all the time. But i mean i think it's i don't think people i think because they see us on stage for like fifteen minutes and that's all they see an no offense but the news just i. I don't mean. I don't mean to to stop the conversation that great conversation that we're having actually this entire thing has been a great time. Was that We gotta start wrapping up with the show short bus. If you could just tell us our can we. Where do we get our own chair. There you talking. Even though he's pros moses whole time you're frozen the whole time when you try to shut me down. Guide said in that do this through a disabled person the whole time while we'll talk whole time thing we heard was hate to cut her. It sounds good again. Appreciate came in. This has been the migos mic. sure life. Subscribe and review us on all your pod casting platforms visit us at amigos. C dot net for our entire library of content and migos merch till next time audio.